A Bareback Satan

My favourite drink is, of course, a “Bareback Satan”. Does anybody know how to craft this fine nectar that sprang straight from the teat of Dionysus himself?
No… well, its just as well I'm here, then:

    Take a glass, of any size
    Half fill it with crushed ice
    Add a dash of classic bourbon
    Then a clump of hair most auburn
    Throw in the tail of a baby fox
    And the stinkiest pair of your Uncle’s socks
    Key is the left earlobe of Brigitte Bardot
    (Though caution, m’dear, as supplies are low)
    A fake moustache, in the style of Mark Twain
    Then leave for two years in the pouring rain

    A handful of kale
    A hipster’s ponytail
    The skin of a cheetah
    Chapter three of Lolita
    Anton Chekhov dressed as a satyr
    But not his gun, as you’ll need it later
    A popular character from Dr Suess
    (And being fictional is no excuse)
    An african elephant with bronchitis
    An Irish goat with hepatitis
    Attempt to steal William Shatner’s wig
    (And at this point take a sneaky swig)
    The Joshua Tree will nicely do
    Oh, screw it, just throw in all of U2
    A tiny cherry will make it ripple
    As would Bernard Cribbins favourite nipple
    A boa constrictor of impressive length
    And the heart of your enemy to give you strength
   
    A centaur’s hoof will make quite the hunt
    As would hair from a lady’s front
    Shoot a man and collect the discharge
    And hopefully, now you should be at large
    The signed confession you gave to the police
    Plus, Liza Minelli’s elbow grease
    A former minister, now thoroughly hated
    (Preferably one who auto-asphyxiated)
    Befriend a composer, to get a score
    Then throw in one confusing metaphor
    By now the drink won’t look attractive
    So, toss in something radioactive
    For a final heresy, stir with a Nicolaitan
    And that’s how you make a “Bareback Satan”.


By now, your tastebuds will be far wetter,
So order this drink: You’ll never get better.